I WON THE LOTTERY!  More on that in a moment...

I have had a great couple of months.  Never before have I strung so many days together of great workouts, great nutrition and great mindset.

Never.

I don't have a whole heck of a lot to show for it but that doesn't bother me the way it has in the past.  A quick catch-up is in order...

I write this today at 354 lbs., just a frog's hair away from hitting the one hundred pounds to go marker.  I started off needing to lose 157 lbs. of fat, now it be just 101.43 lbs. to go... Arrrrrrgh, matey!

On June 28th I began eating six small meals a day and keeping my intake religiously below 1800 calories a day.  Darn near 100% compliance with the nutrition.  I've made every workout and stretched to strengthen the rehab work of the previous month.  All cylinders firing now...

Yet I am still only seeing .75 to 2.5 lbs. of fat lost each week.  It's confusing.

Last friday after one of the most painful weeks of my life (I was near an emergency gall-bladder chopped-out-a-me-echtomy) an unexpected diagnosis popped up: Diabetic Gastroparesis.  The muscles that contract to empty the stomach and move food through the intestines are weak and inefficient.

BY GEORGE, I THINK WE'VE GOT IT!  It explains everything, my brain tumor, the alternating positive and negative results for Celiac disease, autoimmune disorders, arthritis, inflammation, etc. etc. etc.  When I eat a hamburger it sits in my stomach, way, way too long.  It ferments (think spoils, fungus, mold, Britney Spear's last album, etc.) and then is dumped into my intestinal track.

In short, because the food I eat sits too long in my gut, I am poisoning myself with each bite.  So I work and work and sweat and sweat for weeks on end with some progress then take a "free" day.  That free day sets me back weeks, sometimes months.

The body fat analyzer says, "Oh, you've gained three pounds of lean mass this week" but it is reading that hamburger from two days ago as lean mass.  It isn't my biceps but the Carl's Jr. six dollar burger...

The scale hardly moves because I don't move that big glass of water for over a day or two.  My stomach would bloat to the point that the numbers I could see on the scale in the morning are completely obscured by my belly in the evening.

I am not worried because never has my exercise been so automatic.  Never before has my nutrition been so automatic.  I make good choice after good choice without much thought or drama nowadays. 

So, there it is: A lot of fat people make excuses for the shape they find themselves in.  I have a metabolic disorder... I hardly eat...  I'm just big-boned...  etc.

It turns out that I actually have a great, perfect excuse for my flabitude.  No B.S., no lies, no "excuses".  I WON THE FAT-GUY LOTTERY!  There is a real, medical reason for my situation.  The irony is this: after all of the effort, change and growth of the last two years, I don't give one damn about what is wrong with my "intestinal motility" - I'm only interested in fixing it and I have a plan.  This plan will get worked, it will adapt and it will work - guaranteed. 

I'll post more later on how I intend to address the problem but, know this,

Oh, yeah, baby, IT'S ON NOW.

I have now met the enemy and he is MINE.  Let's get ready to rrrrrrr-uuuuuuu-mmmmmmm-baaaaaallll.  I've spent a lifetime getting ready to face this demon down once and for all and this is the time, this is the place and I am finally the man I need to be to win.

Let the games begin...

Ah, to be almost four and a boy in the spring.

My son spent this last week conducting a series of complex and profound experiments in hydro-electrical conduction and propagation.  In short, he gave several electrical appliances a bath in the bathroom sink.  One of which was my handy-dandy bio-electrical impedance body fat analyzer.

So I rush ordered another one to arrive by today so that I could do today's weigh in.  The only difference seems to be that the new analyzer reads me somewhere between .5 and .7% higher in body fat percentage.  On a guy my size that is a pretty big difference.


But I will report exactly what it says without excuses.  The scale dropped almost 5 lbs. this week, I hit the gym with compound exercises, ran intensity intervals on the treadmill and ate almost perfectly - there just ain't no way I lost 5 lbs. of muscle this week.

No freekin' way.

This is an interesting idea for me.  This sort of number or result in the past would have me firing down a rack of ribs, feeling nervous, putt-out, and oozing with the "But I did everything right.  Poor me.  I cannot ever lose weight.  Do I have to be perfect?  Anyone else would lose weight if they worked as hard as (poor, poor) me".

What a spiral of self-indulgent crap.

Today is different, today I am different.

I know I've put in the sweat equity.  I know I've done it right.  My inside world is stronger and more firmly rooted in honesty.  This doesn't even begin to shake me because I know, and know that I know that I have done it right.

I have what Stephen Covey calls "Moral Authority".  By walking the walk, I have some room to talk the talk.  Moral Authority allows me to brush these numbers off as a temporary measuring problem.  Not a problem with how I feel.  Not a problem with how hard I have worked.  NOT a problem with my plan or its execution.

I have been writing a book to help children learn emotional intelligence.  The story has legs and I've already had book agents contact me interested in representing it.  About six months ago I had to stop writing it.  With every word it became more painfully obvious that I lacked to the Moral Authority to give advice to anyone.  I will continue to lack the Moral Authority until I have slayed my own demons.  Today I feel, for the first time in six months, that I am close to finishing that book.

I'm getting closer to being the man that my family needs and deserves.

Good luck and God bless!

HouseKeeping...

LAST WEEK

Weight: 359.8 lbs.
Body Fat%: 39.8%
Body Fat Weight: 143.20 lbs.
Lean Muscle Mass: 216.60 lbs.
At 15% bf, my goal weight is 254.82 lbs.
BMI: 48.8
Body Fat to Lose: 104.98 lbs.

THIS WEEK

Weight: 355.1 (DOWN 4.7 lbs.)
Body Fat%: 39.9% (*)
Body Fat Weight: 141.68 lbs. (Down 1.52 lbs.)*
Lean Muscle Mass: 213.42 lbs. (Down 3.18 lbs.)*  
At 15% bf, my goal weight is 251.08 lbs.
BMI: 48.1 (Down .7)
Body Fat to Lose: 104.02 lbs. (DOWN .96 lbs.)*

I am wondering why the the scale floats up five pounds then drops the day before the weigh-in.  I'm not complaining because it was a week closer to the goal but I am capable of losing much more than 1.6 lbs. of fat in a week!

Not too much to say today - an extreme case of mediocrity does that too me.

Housekeeping...


LAST WEEK

Weight: 362.0 lbs.
Body Fat%: 40.0%
Body Fat Weight: 144.8 lbs.
Lean Muscle Mass: 217.20 lbs.
At 15% bf, my goal weight is 255.53 lbs.
BMI: 49.1
Body Fat to Lose: 106.47 lbs.

THIS WEEK

Weight: 359.8 (DOWN 2.2 lbs.)
Body Fat%: 39.8% (Down .2)
Body Fat Weight: 143.20 lbs. (Down 1.6 lbs.)
Lean Muscle Mass: 216.60 lbs. (Down .6 lbs.)  
At 15% bf, my goal weight is 254.82 lbs.
BMI: 48.8 (Down .2)
Body Fat to Lose: 104.98 lbs. (DOWN 1.49 lbs.)

Wow.

A few weeks ago I saw the movie Evan Almighty and was just floored by a definition of prayer as described by God (Morgan Freeman).  Incidentally, if we could ever hold an election for "GOD" I'd enthusiastically nominate Morgan Freeman and, maybe, John Travolta if only for the Male Warrior's Dance and for his role in Welcome back, Mr. Kotter... 

It, it's, it's just so we-erd

Anyhoo, back to the movie...

In this clip God, disguised as a waiter (he he he, very  cool, "Gotta go, many people to serve") talks to Evan's wife.  At this point Evan appears to have gone over the deep end, he's building an ark, growing a long beard and hair, wearing robes, prophesizing about "a flood" and masses of animals, two by two are gathering around the boat.  God sits down next to Evan's wife and says this (fast forward to 41 seconds into the clip) Deep Profound Stuff.

I have been upheaved by this since I first saw it two weeks ago.  My focus, spirit and mind all racing and  zig-zagging around one another until it is all just a blur that appears motionless.

It  messed me up good.

How long have I missed and miss-used my opportunities?  How completely this thought changes the meaning of, well, everything,...

Today I have been battling cravings and binge-urges ALL DAY LONG.  To compound the problem, I've also had a small migraine, unable to drive due to visual field changes and nausea.  The cure to this has been for twenty years: Eat, Sleep, Eat, Sleep until I am completely numbed or medicated and I feel better.

Today I didn't Eat/Sleep/Eat/Sleep, I did take a nap but I have stayed on course nutritionally.  Each moment of challenge was met with me stating (out loud) something along the lines of: Thank you for the chance to say NO.  Thank you for the opportunity to grow my will power.  Thank  you for the chance to set the right example for my kids.

Maybe this is a little goofy-sounding but it has worked all day long.  I think I just avoided a binge, and a BIG one at that.  The confluence of events form the classic binge triggers for me: money concerns, work concerns, health concerns and constant pain (lower back and shoulder i've been rehabbing).  And the most important trigger: SUCCESS.  I have been doing a really good job, progressing and being disciplined for several weeks now.

Weeks worth of working hard has always led to a big binge and nothing brings on a binge like success. 

God Bless,

Jeff

Kind of a funny week.

Almost Hilarious.  This isn't a political blog, please don't read that as Hillary-ous.  Although, this does seem like a fun metaphor idea...

This week was Barack n' Roll...
This week was spent in the "John" thinking about the brothers McCain and McAbel...

On Wednesday I actually weighed in at 360.1 lbs.  So CLOSE!!  I ate an extra thousand calories (not GOOD calories) that day and had drank a bunch of water and my weight jetted up to 366 and kinda stayed there, floating down slowly until today.  I was about as mad as I get.

It seemed that pattern was running itself again: Do it all right, do it almost perfect and one day, no, scratch that, one meal of a mistake erases the entire week's progress.  Yesterday I was fit to be tied.  If anger were an Elvis impersonator - I was Las Vegas.

I wasn't too happy this morning either.  Until I measured my percent body fat and the percentage had dropped pretty well.  Then I felt like a doofus.  I've become accustomed to that particular feeling though.

May 25th ends my first 1 - month goal.  I began 30 days ago at 152.6 lbs. of body fat and sit here today at 144.8 lbs. = 7.8 lbs. of FAT LOSS, not too shabby!  How dumb of me to get upset and almost pushed off track by such a small thing this week.

Lessons learned from the first 30 days:

1. I MUST exercise everyday - my blood is like mud, it has to be warm and moving at all times - because when it stops or cools it turns into cement.
2. I have to guard the high-metabolism zones with ferocity - they must be protected because this is when the progress happens.
3. I will dial in my carbs and types of fats this next month
4. I will better address how much gluten I take in, I'll make more gluten-free substitutions
5. My secret weapons are working - they are a very positive pressure that is serving my progress very well.

GOAL FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS:

ON OR BEFORE JUNE 25, 2008 I WEIGH 345 LBS.

I'm really responding to these 30 day sprints.  Cool beans...

Housekeeping,

LAST WEEK

Weight: 366.5 lbs.
Body Fat%: 40.5%
Body Fat Weight: 148.43 lbs.
Lean Muscle Mass: 218.08 lbs.
At 15% bf, my goal weight is 256.55 lbs.
BMI: 49.8
Body Fat to Lose: 109.95 lbs.

THIS WEEK

Weight: 362.0 (DOWN 4.5 lbs.)
Body Fat%: 40.0% (Down .5)
Body Fat Weight: 144.8 lbs. (Down 3.63 lbs.)
Lean Muscle Mass: 217.20 lbs. (Down .88)  
At 15% bf, my goal weight is 255.53 lbs.
BMI: 49.1 (Down .7)
Body Fat to Lose: 106.47 lbs. (DOWN 3.48 lbs.)

AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I feel better now.

This is that rotten, stinking pattern of the first year of my "transformation".  When I was logging  on the RealSolutions board this would happen to me, week after week.  I would burn it up in the gym, I would diet with great accuracy/efficiency and I would log, refresh and analyze the process but with no real progress.

FULL OF SOUND AND FURY, SIGNIFYING NOTHING

For all of my rage I am still just a rat in a cage... (Smashing Pumpkins)

Hmm...  This song lyrics motif is kinda' fun, more:

And all it means is that I'm running on Ice, running on ice... (Billy Joel)

You make me frustrated like I'm stuck in a shoe... (Mommas and the Poppas)

Nobody told me there'd be days like these... (John Lennon)

Unimportant are all the things I can do, because I can't get next to you... (Temptations)

Come on baby, finish what ya' started, I'm incomplete... (Van Halen)

Seems I'm always climbin and fallin and climbin But I keep on tryin'... (Trace Adkins)



It is all this back and forth, all this energy expended with little or nothing to show for it.  Worse, weeks such as this occur: all the work, all the energy, proper eating 95% of the time and the result - WEIGHT GAIN.

Crap.  Total crap.

The good news is that I have learned exactly why this happens - If I even look at a weight bench I put on a pound of muscle.  I put on muscle with very little effort, probably due to my high circulating insulin levels.  So with me there is a real tipping point for calorie intake.  At 2200 calories/day I gain mass but lose no fat.  Between 2000 and 2200 I lose fat modestly and no loss of lean mass.  Now, at 1800 calories/day I can lose about 3.5 lbs. of fat a week and .5-1 lbs. of lean a week and that is a fine deal for me.

So I know that with these results my caloric intake is just a couple hundred higher than it should be.  2200 calories a day will NOT get it done!  Just as happened this week, I'll put on lean mass, and lose little or no fat and have just lost another important week of progress.

This week's focus is on three things: 1) Get the caloric intake down to 1800 a day, 2) Put the fork down between bites (thanks Shawn !) and, 3) Get to the gym every day this week.


Oh, well, onward and upward...

LAST WEEK

Weight: 362.8 lbs.
Body Fat%: 40.1%
Body Fat Weight: 145.48 lbs.
Lean Muscle Mass: 217.32 lbs.
At 15% bf, my goal weight is 255.67
BMI: 49.2
Body Fat to Lose: 107.31 lbs.

THIS WEEK

Weight: 366.5 lbs. Up 3.7
Body Fat%: 40.5% Up .3
Body Fat Weight: 148.43 lbs. Up 2.95
Lean Muscle Mass: 218.08 lbs. Up .7
At 15% bf, my goal weight is 256.55 lbs.
BMI: 49.8
Body Fat to Lose: 109.95 lbs.

Not a stellar week but progress nonetheless...

I did something new and odd yesterday: I punished myself with food.  My goal with food always been very powerful and consistent: FEEL BETTER. 

Food is good, yeah, yeah, food is great, yeah, yeah,
What if food was one of us?  Just a hogie on a bus...

Thanks to the coaching and Anthony Robbins materials I have been able to identify and begin to move through my binge-eating disorder.  I recognize the motivations behind the actions and for several years I have made good progress.  Two years ago I began chronicling my weight loss on the Real Solutions BB and quickly realized just how bi-polar my emotions around the diet end of this was.

One week I was doing great and the next week I would write about eating a slab of ribs in a parking lot at 10 in the morning.  Up and down, up and down, down and down and up and down, ad nauseum.  I recently went back and, with some embarrassment, read the log - all of it.  It became very obvious over several months that I wasn't getting it done, I wasn't on a "Biggest Loser" path of losing 100 lbs. in 9 months or whatever it is that they do.

I was growing some spiritual muscle, learning how to work and push myself in the gym and for the first time in my life the inevitability of reaching my goals was obvious to me.  If it wasn't for that time and toil, today's success would not have been possible.  That inevitability of reaching my goals was indeed so powerful and present in my life then.

It still is.

Yesterday I had a small binge episode.  I say small because even though I ate all the wrong stuff, it only put me 600 calories over my daily budget of 1800.  I weighed myself today and I have still lost 2.5 pounds of fat this week and put on almost a pound of muscle.  Its hard to get too upset.

So, this morning I woke up, I weighed and took my body fat measure, then scarfed down a cottage cheese and grapes breakfast.

Good WEEK!

Housekeeping:

LAST WEEK:

Weight: 364.6 lbs.
Body Fat%: 40.6%
Body Fat Weight: 148.03 lbs.
Lean Muscle Mass: 216.57 lbs.
At 15% bf, my goal weight is 254.79 lbs.
BMI: 49.4
Body Fat to Lose: 109.81 lbs.


THIS WEEK:

Weight: 362.8 lbs.
Body Fat%: 40.1%
Body Fat Weight: 145.48 lbs. Down 2.5
Lean Muscle Mass: 217.32 lbs. UP .8
At 15% bf, my goal weight is 255.67 lbs.
BMI: 49.2
Body Fat to Lose: 107.31 lbs. DOWN 2.0 lbs.

Get the Fork Out...


                                                                Of your mouth...

Now, c'mon, your dirty mind got the best of you, didn't it?

I have incorporated three strategies from the Strength for LIFE book by Shawn Phillips.  One was forced on me, the other is a personal challenge I have taken up and the last is a gift from a friend.

More on the friend later...

The first strategy is the stretching and yoga focus of a healthy and flexible body that can carry on for years.  I remember a doctor telling me several years ago the greatest predictor of longevity is how easily a person can clasp their hands behind their back, on from up, the other from down.  NOT just clasping hands behind you (ala the ralph mouth, fake hug, make out in the phone box trick - whoa, who knows what that is referring to?), heck, I can do that!

This is where you reach for the sky with one hand, and the floor with the other, then clasp hands.  One elbow points to the ceiling, the other the floor.  I just got a cramp typing that...

I hurt myself pretty badly about a month ago in the gym.  I've always had that cork-screw feeling since the car accident and, well, let's just say, I fully SCREWED myself this time.  The rehab has been stretching some very tight and short muscles.  It is coming along very well and I can tell that I will be stronger and better off for having addressed the flexibility problems sooner rather than later.

The second was a suggestion to slow down while eating, to raise awareness, his suggestion: Put the fork down in between bites.  Simple, honest, brilliant and the focus of my discipline/awareness training for the week.  This is all I want to accomplish this week, period.

Now I could have titled this blog "Stick the Fork In..." but then people would just think it was another blogger telling Hillary Clinton to get out of the race.

Oscar Wilde: The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork...

I can feel real change in my life nowadays.  There is a calm and faith that makes the waves my friends and allies and not the drowning destroyers of the past.  I don't have to run that hard or erratically to get where I want to go.  Maybe I'll end up in church afterall.

Yogi Berra: When you come to a FORK in the road, take it!

GREAT WEEK!

My shoulder and lower back are ready to go - I'm sure of it.  I had a spot of vertigo mid week but, wow, check this out!  I lost 5 pounds but the great news is 3.5 lbs. was pure lard.  Losing .49 lbs. of lean mass is ideal, I'll trade a half a pound of muscle for three and a half pounds of fat every week for the next 32 weeks.

I have 109.81 pounds to lose.
I have a "secret weapon".

I have a craving for coconut curry sauce, hmm...

Next week I'll be back in the 50's.  Niiiiiiiiiiiccccccccccccce.


HouseKeeping:

Weight: 364.6 lbs. WHOO HOO!
Body Fat%: 40.6% WHOO HOO!
Body Fat Weight: 148.03 lbs. WHOO HOO!
Lean Muscle Mass: 216.57 lbs. WHOO HOO!
At 15% bf, my goal weight is 254.79 lbs.
BMI: 49.4
Body Fat to Lose: 109.81 lbs.

It is May 1 and we all know the tradition of this day: Yank up some flowers out of your neighbor's yard then leave them on the front door step of that attractive someone while yelling "MAY DAY" as you run at top speed to hide in the bushes.

Hey, you celebrate your way and I will celebrate mine...

Shawn Phillips released his book and it is currently available at Amazon.com.  His wife thought we should all get together to buy this book on the same day so that it would shoot to number one on the best seller list...

You see honey, my dear wife THAT is how a devoted and thoughtful wife acts - when have you ever tried to make me an Amazon.com #1 best selling author, huh?

I can just hear her now, "You have to write a book first,  hotshot!"

Details, DETAILS, there you go shooting down my dreams with unimportant facts again - (ala George Lopez) I CAN'T DO NOTHING!

Hmm, where did that come from?  Honey, I LUFF you.  Honey, are you still there?  Crap...


Anyways the point of this post is simple:

IF YOU WANT A LIFE OF STRENGTH

                                                                                    GO BUY THIS BOOK


IF YOU WANT A BALANCED PLAN FOR MAINTAINING YOUR BEST BODY



GO BUY THIS BOOK


IF YOU DESIRE THE TIMELESS WISDOM THAT IS PURCHASED WITH FOCUS AND CONSISTENT ACTION



                                                                 GO BUY THIS BOOK


IF YOU HAVE A NICKEL, WELL YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH NICKELS TO BUY THIS BOOK - GO GET SOME MORE NICKELS AND THEN...

GO BUY THIS BOOK


AND DO IT TODAY TO HELP OUT A TRULY DESERVING AND GENEROUS SOUL.  I'M GOING TO BUY A COUPLE COPIES RIGHT NOW...




God bless and keep you,


Jeff