I heard recently we exist in a contract with the universe.  Deep.

Yes, so, so very deep...

But also intriguing.

The idea is we create the various tensions in our lives by reneging on the contract.  To better understand the concept just think of the wedding vows "...in good time AND bad".  The promise of life is the promise of love, connection, excitations, accomplishment and laughter.

Oh, yes, AND tears, frustration, sorrow, pain and rejection.

Living in harmony with our world and ourselves requires we accept the second list just as readily as we do the first list.  I like the symmetry with our internal system of morality.  The feeling of "guilt" is a strong message from us to us we have broken one of our own rules.  Guilt lets us know we are not living the way we know we should be living.

Thank God for guilt!  It is like having a clear, loud voice yelling in your ear, "THIS IS WHAT YOU BELIEVE!"

With guilt as my ally, I could be a mutant whose super power is eating curried chicken with vegetables and enjoying every bite of it because I do firmly believe it is THE DOSE THAT MAKES THE POISON.

Yes, Professor X, it is I, Slumdog Vegetable-aire.  Someone call Wolverine over here to chop some sweet potatoes for me. 

My first stab at fitting this into my experience has been to think of eating in response to nervousness or boredom as a rejection of the contract.  Sure, sometimes, somethings are just going to be uncomfortable, irritating and even downright painful.  That was promised in the contract.  We have proof of our humanity and opportunity for a rich, full experience of life.

What is this, "embrace the struggle"?  I've pondered for months the answer to "To be or not to be".  The answer, begrudgingly, keeps coming up "fight, you moron, fight until your last breath.  Really?  Can you truly be such a moron?  Fight."

It isn't in my nature to fight - I've always been more of a "run like hell" kinda' guy.

I do believe the long term solution to most puzzles is the slow, methodical erosion of the beliefs that surround them.  Some beliefs are blown apart in a moment - you wander into the living room and dad is putting presents under the tree while drinking the milk you left out for Santa, etc. 

But most, especially as those addressed as adults, are slowly and purposefully eroded.  Those stone castles are brought down one pebble at a time.  Each rep done when your tired, each workout performed when you don't really feel like doing it and every calorie passed up in favor of a better one.

So the bottom line, as it appears to me at this time, is this: It is our duty, having signed the "existence contract" to fight, to always struggle in some manner, especially if the battle is to only chip away that next small, minuscule pebble from the foundations of our "castles" of limiting beliefs.

I'll post some numbers here in the next few days to see how much progress has occurred.

God Bless...